The Baka that tried to steal Christmas & Mello!
by Plushy-Chan
Summary: Matt hates Christmas so he trys to kill it! But he meets Mello! Who wil he choose?
1. boy or girl?

Yay! Another story! My notes will be popping up here and there also it'll look like this: (really I'm going to say this now before the story I'm making Mello & Matt both 14 years old.) This is what I thought about one night while watching the movie so here is your Christmas story may be a little early but its okay…

--

Once a pond a time in a little town called Whyville (well I made the name up, so shut up!)Way beyond the mountains of Whoville it was the busiest time of the year it was a night before Christmas. The south of Whyville lived a young man named Mail Jeevas but let's call him Matt.

Matt was up at his home in the mountains looking down at the town with a look of disgust in his eyes. "Woof, Woof! Okay let's cut the fucking crap! What wrong Matt?" His "dog" Near asked "It's almost Christmas, Near. I hate Christmas…" Matt said while he crushes a tree ornament that was near his foot.

"Why Matt, why do you hate Christmas? It's such a cheerful and joyful holiday."Near asked Matt "Near I hate Christmas, because there is always so much noise in the morning that I can never finish the games that I get on Christmas!" Matt yelled in so much anger he kicked Near in to some snow! (My Note: Just to say sorry to the Near fans I myself am a fan so yeah…:3)

"Sorry Near…" Matt said while pulling Near out of the snow that he was kicked in to. "Wait… Near I could dress like old Saint Nick and take every ones presents in Whyville!" Matt said with a devilicious look in his eyes and an evil grin to go with it "MWHAHAH!" Matt laughed.

"Matt that's a horrible thing to do just for your game!" Near yelled at Matt with tears rolling down his fury white cheeks

"Near I'm not going to take yours toys I promise. In fact I should give all the toys to you." Matt said knowing that after that Near would agree with his brilliant, evil plan. "Yay! Really you'll give me all the toys? Fine just this once." Near then yelled in excitement to Matt while jumping up and down with his tail wagging back and forth.

In the town of Whyville…

"Why can't you put up the Christmas Decorations?" Mello asked his 'mother' Takada (Witch of Christmas! : D)

"Your fucking father won't do it so stop bitching!" Takada said while throwing a snow ball a Mello

"Well you could have slapped him and drag him up here like how you did to me you old hag! And I keep telling you I'm a fucking boy, bitch! So stop buying me dresses! Boys are starting to ask me out!" Mello said while taking off one of the boots that he was wearing and throw it a Takada which made her fall off the roof. (The witch has died! ;D Sorry I lied she lives)

"Mello this is the third time this week you put your mother in the Whyville hospital!" scolded Mello's 'father' Mikami "The bitch had it coming…" Mello said "Yeah your right. Let's leave now."Mikami said. "What about me! Broken leg! I really can't do anything!" Takada yelled out to her so called son and husband "Shut the fuck up!"Both turned around and said to the witch.

Back in the mountains at Matt's house…

"Matt, how in hell did you get that Santa costume?" Near asked "My father bought it when he was dating my bitchy mother." Matt answered "Oh, you mean Light?" Near asked thinking of something "Yeah, my father L doesn't bitch."Matt smiled while putting on the costume

"Yeah, but Matt how are you getting a reindeer? There is no reindeer out here." Near asking "I'll make one" Matt said while grabbing Near. "Matt I not strong enough to have a horn tied to my head!" Near screamed out knowing it was hopeless "Look you managed!" Matt yelled out after he tied it on Nears head. "Shut up…" Near said with his tail down and a small horn tied on his head with white thread.

Back at Whyville at Mello's house

"So dad it's an evening before Christmas…" Mello said "So what?" Mikami asked "WTF are we going to do with mom?" Mello asked enjoying bugging his father "Throw her off a cliff so she will shut up…" Mikami said "Yay! This is going to be the best Christmas!" Mello cheered while jumping up and down in his **new **Christmas dress.

"Hey I can hear you! You brought me home remember?" Takada yelled in the terror of hearing there plan to throw her away "Also Mello stop jumping it's not lady like and your dress is going up." Takada told Mello "Eke." Mello yelled terrified.

After night fell a pond Whyville…

"Now Near let's go" Matt said while turning off the PSP he was playing and grabbing Near tied him to the sled and down they went.

Once in the town Matt got off and climbed up to the roof of the first house. Down he went down the chimney funny thing is that he never got stuck even if he was play his PSP again -_-'.

Matt got anything that was Christmas related even the food that was meant to be eaten tomorrow for the feast.

Matt stopped at a house that had some lights on. Once Matt got in he woke up a little girl by the name of Wendy.

"Sainty Clause?" Wendy asked Matt "Who the? Oh why it's young…"Matt said to the 4 year old "Okay get the decorations and get the fuck out of my house now!" Wendy said to Matt "Whatever you say Bitch!" Matt yelled while kicking her in to the next room.

The last house that he stopped at was Mello's house!

Once Matt got into the house he saw a beautiful, flawless girl or boy? (I have 2 do this & call Mello a boy or girl Matt still doesn't know!) Matt couldn't help but get close to him or her. He leaned down and kissed him or her when he or she woke up!

--

ZZZZ… Night! *turns off light*


	2. ending

Hi! It's a late start at school tomorrow so I can stay up as long as I want! Your comments aren't helping much but one really helped! Thx to you ppl or person. You know who you are! I'm acting emo to ma mom and she's getting pissed! Anyway here's your story!

--

_**SLAP!**_

Mello's hand meet came across Matt's poor beautiful face! (Why?! :()

"Hey don't you know what personal space is!? What are you doing in my house? Who are you? Also you just don't come in to someone's house kiss anyone! Especially if their asleep you could give someone a heart attack! How could you even kiss someone that's asleep? That's like raping a 3 year old! Also what gives you the right to kiss me of all people!? Huh? Do you even know me…?" Mello yelled to Matt

'Wow she/he can sure talk **a lot**!' Matt said to himself while rubbing the poor cheek that got hit by Mello…

"…Also why are you in _**MY**_ house? One last thing you're kinda cute!" Mello **finally** finished while hiding his face in utter embarrassment for he was blushing

"Sorry miss…" Matt said while getting up from that slap he earned earlier from Mello before

_**SLAP~!**_

"I'm a guy!" Mello said to Matt 'I think…' Mello then thought to him/herself "Sorry it's just you're in a dress." Matt said before…

_PUNCH!_

"Don't remind me! Also where did you get that Santa Clause costume?" Mello asked while remembering he was wearing a short dress that went up when he punched Matt and looking at what the newly cute guest in his house that kissed him while sleeping…

"Oh I'm taking every kid presents!" Matt said proudly.

"Cool any chocolate?" Mello questioned Matt "Yeah!" Matt said "Yay! Can you take me?" Mello asked forgetting the fact that Matt was still unknown to the chocolate addicted blond… -_-'(He doesn't care if a rapist comes in as long as there is chocolate!)

"Oh what's your name you angel?" Matt said to Mello while kissing Mello's hand causing Mello to blush madly! "It's Mihael Keehl but everyone calls me Mello!" The blushing chocolate lover said to the strawberry head "Mello. Well My name is Mail Jeevas aka Matt." Matt the gamer said to Mello the chocolate lover.

"Matt cool," Mello said, "any way why are you taking every gift from the children of Whyville?" "Because in the morning it's always loud and I can't do anything!" Matt said while taking out something from the bag of toys and candy…

"Here…" Matt said to the blond while handing him a chocolate bar…

"Thank you, Matt…" Mello said taking the chocolate and giving a small smile to the red headed gamer…

"It's nothing" Matt said taking out a game boy from the bag and sitting on the couch

Mello then sat down next to Matt and watched as he played Mario…

"Matt you jack ass~! Where are you?" Near said while running in to the house of the Yagami's or in other words Im a gay's…

By now it was 2 o'clock in the morning. Mello and Matt fell asleep in each other's arms…

But Near was pissed and stayed in the cold snow until now playing with an ornament from the house before until he remembered why he was outside in the dark and started freaking out cause he was outside alone in the dark!

But now is now so Near ran in to the house big deal!!!

Mello slowly opened his eyes only to feel Matt's hand slide down his dress… XP (Once u come to think of it he would have done it in really life for the fun of it and would have died but not here!)

Mello got up smirked.

_**SLAP~!**_

By now Near saw Mello the one thing he saw too much of Mello, when Mello got up he wasn't lady like and his pink underwear showed under his black dress…

Near the white dog/puppie/thing was turning red…

Mello looked at the now white Near and throw a pillow, lamp, table, Matt (lol), and picked up the white dog and threw it out the window!

Matt just awoke and the screaming of his friend/dog thing…

Matt sat up as Mello sat down opening a new chocolate bar…

"Um Mello what went through that window?" Matt asked the blond

"A huge fluffy ball!!" Mello answered Matt (he's hyper)

Near walked in to the house white (as always, lol!!) Matt looked at Near and then a Mello laugh at the lil thing…

It was morning now but Matt didn't care he just walked home with Mello and maybe shot Santa… But who cares!?

In the morning everyone was happie but the guy that Matt shot…

Mello stayed with Matt, Light and L stayed together, Mikami went crazy and shot Takada and himself, a girl named Misa came along and started stocking Light so L blew her brains out!!!

And that the crappy ending to this lil messed up story have a good night! No seriosely get the fudge outa ma room u lil kidz and go to bed or I'm gonna shoot Santy Clause out of the…

Ok ok we get it…

--

Lol lookie at the endie!! I was hiper when this was done so there's ur ending! Oh and sorry it's late I've been grounded for a while and I will **NOT** be writing the next chaper for 'Love Me Ichigo' anytime soon…


End file.
